To Climb The Mountain

Conversations With Jesus

I am tired.

I am tired, Jesus.

Bone weary.

My mind is overwhelmed.

My heart is so heavy,

and my soul is depleted.

My body is weak, Jesus.

I feel so beaten down;

so empty.

I feel forgotten.

"My child.

I see you.

I have not forgotten you.

I know you are tired; that you are weary.

But I am not."

I know, Jesus, that You never promised serving You would be easy, but, this is so hard.

And it has been so long.

And the burden is so heavy.

I'm not sure how much longer I can carry this.

"I am in you, and you are in Me.

Stop trying to hold on;

trying to hold it together.

You can’t.

You are not strong enough.

But I am.

I can hold you.

I am holding you."

But Jesus.

I’m not sure I can feel You.

I'm not sure I can feel anything anymore.

The ache within me, is consuming.

And I'm trying so hard to live according to Your Word; to walk in Your footsteps.

But Your footsteps are perfect.

You are perfect.

And I am not.

I cannot measure up.

I am failing.

I am failing, Jesus.

And I am so tired.

“Keep pressing in.

Don’t quit.

It is hard now, yes.

But this is making you strong;

preparing you;

teaching you to trust Me fully.

Do you trust Me, my daughter?”

Yes.

Yes Jesus, I trust You.

But, I don’t trust myself.

I’m so small.

I’m so afraid of making a mistake.

“Beloved, I am big enough to cover your mistakes.”

Jesus, I’m just so tired of slogging through the muck and the mire.

It’s so hard.

It’s so heavy.

I don't want to do this anymore.

It is too much for me.

I know that You are good.

I trust that You are good;

that You are faithful;

that You are true to Your Word.

I know that You have a plan and a purpose for me.

I know, Jesus,

that You will be faithful to complete the good work that You have started in me.

But Jesus.

How much longer will this last?

How much longer will this struggle last?

Jesus, I do trust You but,

I don't think I can keep going.

"Keep going.

You can do this,

for I am with you."

But why does it have to be this hard?

When will things get easier, Jesus?

I just want a Mountain Top experience.

“Then, beloved daughter;

you have to climb the mountain.”

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